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I think it was in
1999,
A real nice day in
May
When I took the
courage
To make my
'investment' pay.
It had been
sitting there
In a corner of the
room;
Too scared to
tackle it
I'd say "I'll have
a go quite soon".
A whole year
passed by
(Maybe a little
more!)
Just sitting in the corner
It became such an
eye-sore!
It was dusted and
admired,
It was treated
with such care,
But I often got
the goosebumps
Each time I saw it
there.
But that real nice
day in May
When my courage
came to me,
I thought I'd have
a go
Just to see what I
could see!
I'd listened to the gossip
About all the
things that it could do,
So I thought I'd
be really happy
If I even managed
one or two!
First, I took the
cover of
And straightened
it a bit,
Then I took the
Manual
And just sat and
studied it.
It was 'simple and
straightforward'
(Those words were
in the book!!)
So I got comfy on
my chair
To lean over for a
look!
My little girl
bought me a booklet
Containing
information that I'd need -
"Essential For All
'Dummies'
And I was that we
all agreed!
I had read it now
from back to front
So I thought I
knew the lot -
Five flipping
hours went sliding past
When I realised
that I did not!
I was pushing all
those buttons,
I was pounding all
those keys -
At first I pushed
and pounded only one key
Then they were
bashed in twos and threes!
Now - normally I
am quiet,
From me you'd
hardly hear a word,
But the things
that I was shouting
Were quite
outrageous and absurd!
My daughter heard
me screaming!
She said "Gosh
Mother, what is wrong with you?
Just settle down
and listen
Then we'll sort
out what to do!"
But my temper it
was up,
My heart was
beating really fast
I knew one more
sudden outburst
And it would
probably be my last!!
But I picked up
that flipping thing
Then to the window
I did turn...
I was about to
hurl it through it
But the my senses
did return!
I walked away and
left it
With my daughter
sitting there -
If she had chopped
it into pieces
I knew I wouldn't
care!
That bloody 'good
investment'
Was a great big
waste of time,
How I'd nagged and
begged to get it -
That heap of junk
was really mine!!
Then I heard her
calling me,
She said "Mother
please come here -
I think I've found
the problem!"
As down the back
she tried to peer!
She said - "The
thing about a computer Mum
Is not to just
chuck it in the bin -
It always will
work better
If you first PLUG
THE BEGGAR IN!"
(And I'm ashamed to say -
but all of the above is TRUE!!)
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